Letting Go of Shame: My Story of Grace

For so many years, I carried around this quiet fear that someone would eventually do the math and realize that my husband and I were pregnant before we got married. I’d always worry, thinking, “What will they think? Will they judge us?” But as I’ve grown in faith and joined various moms’ groups and Bible studies, something started to shift in my heart. I began sharing my story with other women, opening up little by little, and you know what? It felt freeing.

So here it is, in full transparency. Yes, I got pregnant when we were just sophomores in college. And you know what else? One of my biggest pet peeves is hearing people say, “Oh, they had to get married.” It was a common phrase back then, and it always bothered me because, truth be told, we did not have to get married. Our parents were incredibly supportive, but they didn’t pressure us at all. In fact, they encouraged us to take our time and figure things out before making any big decisions.

But the thing is, we didn’t feel forced. As crazy as it sounds—especially when I think back on it now that we have a 19-year-old of our own—we had already talked about marriage. We were just teenagers, yes, but there was something in both of us that knew this was it. I had dated other people before, but this was different. I knew he was “the one,” and we both felt that way.

That doesn’t mean I didn’t feel shame about the circumstances. I was the first in my family to go through something like this, and I had no idea what the future would hold for us. It wasn’t easy. In fact, it was downright hard at times. We were so young and had so much growing up to do, but we chose each other, and we fought for each other.

Fast forward to now—this month, we will celebrate 20 years of marriage. I look back at everything we’ve been through, the highs and the lows, the joys and the struggles, and I can honestly say, I wouldn’t change a thing. There were hard seasons, and there still are, but we did it. We’ve raised three beautiful children, and I love this man more than I ever thought was possible.

Just this week, I was sitting in my moms’ group, and we were asked to share a brief life story. It was the first time that I shared our story with no shame. It’s funny because for so long, I felt this weight, like we had done something wrong, like we needed to hide our story. But not anymore. We’ve built a beautiful life together, and I’ve come to realize something important: the devil wants me to live in shame, but I refuse.

God has taken our imperfect situation and poured His grace all over it. We owe Him everything. He has helped us raise not only ourselves but also three incredible kids. His grace is beautiful, and we have nothing to be ashamed of.

So, to anyone who feels that weight of shame in their own life, know this—God’s grace is bigger than your shame. He’s writing a beautiful story in your life, too. You don’t have to carry that burden anymore. How has God shown grace in your life? I'd love to hear your story!